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(Thanks to thiago via Awkward Boners)

“Some people say he’s unBEARable…but I want him to hibernate in my cave.”

Some days weren’t meant to be seized.

“The striped leggings are from Hot Topic, but the ‘easy access hole’ bonus feature?  That’s all me.”

“If you hit me with your best shot…I’ll blow you away.”

“We were looking for a ‘third’ and then we met Mister Pole.  He’s big.  He’s beautiful.  And we’re gonna love him.”

“The whole ‘posing in front of vaguely suggestive signs’ bit gets me laid WAY more than it should.”

I know this photo is a fake, because my boyfriend pointed out the following: “There’s no way a homo would ever beat a pussy.”

“‘High HO Silver’ indeed.”

Definitive proof that a proper tea-bagging requires at least two individuals.

In a surprise move, Oliver and his pet macaw finally decided to say “yes” to the dress.

“Every time I vogue…I always make a splash.”

“I’ll compact your trash…if you compact mine.”

“If you think this is sexy, just wait until you see my shamcock.”

“Stabby is the NEW sexy.”